A Girl in the City

Rain, more rain and power cuts...

2011-07-21T18:53:00.003+01:00

is what I've had today. Some contractors who were digging up the road had cut through the power cables outside my office so one side of the street had no power. We had no computers, no phones an emergency lighting for most of the day but of course my bloody boss wouldn't let me leave, even though I could have done more work from home where at least I have internet.

Oh well, It's not like we could really do anything.

It's also been pouring with rain for much of the afternoon, but I'm feeling surprisingly positive.

It's nearly the weekend and I am now sitting at home trying out my new Barry M nail effects crackle glaze and having a lovely glass of wine.

Rain is always better watched from the inside!

A little update

2011-07-20T20:26:00.003+01:00

Hmmm, it's been a long, long time so thought I'd do a quick update.

Work - Is still rubbish but I'm applying for jobs again. Thinking about retraining properly and might do

some evening volunteering (if I am not too knackered). I have been taking it less seriously so it's not getting to me as much and hopefully I will get something new soon.

Lovelife - Also probably a bit rubbish. G and I were trying to be friends but he's such a knob and feels the need to put me down to show off to his friends, so I am taking a break from seeing him at all. I thought he was such a nice man when we were together, but now I realise he was just as abusive as some of the others, just a lot more subtle about it. He really messes with my confidence and I so dont' need that!

Also realised I have been "seeing" the FB for a year and a half since G and I split and he makes me feel happier without promising me anything.

Sometimes I wish there was someone for me, but then at others I quite like not having anyone around to annoy me or put me down. Would take a really special man to convince me that I'm not better off single with all the crap boyfriends I've had.

London - Still loving it (and like all true Londoners probably hating it in almost equal measure), even though I've thought about moving to other places a lot this year as life has been so crappy, but I just don't think I could do it. As Dr Johnson once said "when a man (or woman in my case) is tired of London, he is tired of life."

Well I have been doing ok

2011-01-31T16:47:00.003Z

except I don't seem to have the time, or money for half the things I want to do.

I have been really, really tired as I haven't been sleeping well (work stress mainly) so today I was naughty and called in sick. I slept for 5 extra hours so I must have needed the rest.

Have rejoined my old gym which was much better and am already going much more often. Have also been going to Zumba, although I am going to miss it tonight as I am officially ill.

Diet didn't really need much change except for less takeaway, which I have been doing. I cook most of the time so I just have to try to keep it up at weekends, which is usually my downfall.

Anyway, seems to be working, I ordered some new jeans and when they arrived they were actually too big! Bit pissed off as I wanted the jeans, but it's nice to find out you're a smaller size than you thought!

And so another year passes

2011-01-03T22:23:00.003Z

and nothing has changed.

So.... I have decided I have to do something about it. The only person who can change my life is me. I will take small steps but I have decided to make some changes. Starting with sorting out my diet and fitness. New regime starts tomorow (my official start of the new year and return to work day).

Wish me luck!

Feeling a bit better this week

2010-11-04T19:18:00.002Z

have been off work and been very lazy but it has been fun. Not much to report, am going to spend this evening pampering and painting my nails with my new funky yellow nail polish.

I want to be a lady of leisure!

Gah, gah and triple gah

2010-10-28T22:24:00.004+01:00

This is going to be a bit of rant, so feel free to ignore.

I am sooo sick of all this.
I am ill again. I am still poor. Work has gotten shitty. I am still single and all the bitchy haters at work who don't even deserve it bleat on about their lovely boyfriends.

And just gah!!!!!!!

And I know that there's a recession on, and I should be grateful to have a job and all of those things. So why can't I feel it. I actually think I was happier being unemployed, and god knows I was miserable then.

I just dread going in there every day, I dread Mondays because it means another week of it. I end up staying up as late as possible to make the time that I don't have to be there feel longer. I can't sleep anyway and when I do I actually dream about the place.

I'm off all next week (have 2 weeks of holiday to take before the end of December ) maybe I will try to come up with a plan of action. I just know I have to get away, I can't cope with this.

Right, now that was a proper hiatus

2010-09-23T00:46:00.001+01:00

But I am back! The year is going ok so far, am just back from Paris where I ate, drank and shopped far too much! But had a great time!! Not going to weigh myself until I have been to the gym at least a few times but don't care right now.

No actual man at the moment but having a couple of flings, and lovely flatmate has a great bloke, so at least one of us is managing a good relationship!

Hello to anyone who's managed to stick with me for this long. Hope to see more of you ;)

Well I've been away for a while

2010-02-23T00:21:00.003Z

mostly because I've still been rather up and down with my moods.

New job is going ok and at least I'm getting paid now. I'm still missing G like hell and it doesn't help that he's friends with loads of my mates so I keep having to see him at stuff.
But I'm trying to move on so I'm making a list of good things about 2010 so far...

1. I have rejoined the gym and my diet is going ok. Have lost 6 pounds since I started and am now down to 10 stone.

2. New job is ok, not too taxing and they pay me on time! And lets face it I'm not unemployed any more which has to be worth something!

3. I managed a lovely valentines day meal with the girls and didn't miss G once that evening, we also celebrated a year since me and the bad man split.

4. I have plans for lovely things to do this year and am determined it will get better. So there.

A bit late for resolutions I suppose but perhaps still just in time for Chinese new year, I resolve to have good times in 2010! Kung hei fat choi!

I haven't posted a lot recently

2009-12-24T01:06:00.003Z

to be honest my posts would have been really too melancholy. First about the whole job delay and not getting paid on time from my previous freelance (they only just paid me for work I did in October!) and then from the obvious misery about my break up.

I still don't know what I did wrong. I miss him so much it hurts all the time.

But I am trying hard to be cheery and nice to my new colleagues and they all seem very friendly.
It really is a shame because Christmas is one of my favourite times of year. I've realised that I've not had a proper nice one in the last 4 years.
The first two years with bad man it was because he broke up with me (twice) over Christmas and then last year it was because he came to my family's house (which he'd been promising ever since we got together) and was a bloody miserable bugger the whole time.
Then this year I am newly single and miss G like hell :(

Anyway I have resolved to enjoy it as much as I possibly can and hopefully next year I will manage a truly merry Christmas.

Best wishes to all my readers. Hope you all have a wonderfull time! See you soon xxx

Well it's all gone tits up

2009-12-14T17:41:00.002Z

sorry I haven't been on here for a while. Have been having some major stresses firstly with trying to get paid for temp work, then with trying to get references and occupational health sorted for the new job.
I had just got it all sorted out and have a start date of next Mondy.

But then the bombshell.

G told me on Saturday night, after throwing a strop and storming out of a party that I had that night that he's decided he doesn't love me after all and doesn't want to be with me.

So that's that. And there was me thinking I'd found a good man at last.
I can't stop crying :(

Still doing temp work at the moment

2009-10-27T15:50:00.004Z

as I have a couple of weeks before new job starts. They need references and CRB check and stuff.
It's kind of boring, but I can't complain. At least I'm not sat at home and am earning a little bit.

Really looking forward to starting my new job though, so am getting a little impatient.

All my lovely people online have been keeping me going.
I've even found a new blog to look at http://www.whatkatiewore.com/

Lots of stylish outfits for me to lust over! Can't wait to get paid!

Yay

2009-10-20T12:57:00.003+01:00

I've been offered a job! Finally, after all those applications and all those interviews where I got turned down.

Weirdly, I was absolutely convinced that I'd messed up this interview. I walked out thinking I had no chance. I didn't even complete the test that they set.

But I'm not going to complain.
I'm not unemployed any more. I feel like I just got 10 pounds lighter with all the stress and worry off my shoulders.

I'm sure it will eventually be replaced by job stress etc. but seriously I will not be moaning about my job again any time soon.

Onwards and upwards

2009-10-06T13:40:00.003+01:00

I am trying to have a little positivity makeover so have made plans to keep me going.

Have been checking out recipies (i.e. food porn) over on the Good Food website and think I have found a good few cheap, veggie, low calorie things that I can make. Just because I'm skint I mustn't use it as an excuse to eat badly!
Whilst I can't afford the gym anymore now that my cheap membership has run out I have signed up for Swim London membership which allows me to use a whole load of local pools and have downloaded some free podcasts to help me start running again.
I have found 2 more jobs to apply for and guess I just have to keep trying.

At least I have a lovely and understanding man for the first time ever and some lovely friends.
Hopefully something good will come my way soon.

Well, the system sucks

2009-10-05T11:52:00.003+01:00

I'm doing a bit of temp work at the moment which I thought was a good thing. But... it's only for 3 days a week so I am still supposed to get some benefits but thought it was a good stopgap (hopefully ) on the way to something more permenent and full time.

Nope. I'd actually be better off not doing any work at all it seems. The extra money I will earn means I have to be reassessed for housing and might not get any at all.
I can't afford my rent on what I am earning and stupidly if I was still on jobseekers they would pay my full rent.

What kind of daft system actually discourages you from trying to work.

I'm guessing I didn't get the job from Tuesday as I haven't heard anything from them which is a bit rubbish after a week to not have been told either way. I think if I don't hear by tomorrow I will contact them for feedback.

Went for another interview on Friday but I'm not holding out much help. It's just such a competitive market out there.

Anyway, had a lovely weekend with G and lovely flatmate. Sort of wish it wasn't Monday. It's kind of crappy watching other people go off to their jobs and having to drag myself off to do cold calling of surveys which doesn't even pay my rent.

Really hope something comes up soon, I'm badly losing heart.

Fingers Crossed

2009-09-28T13:20:00.004+01:00

Had a great, mad weekend in Manchester with the girls (and one boy).
Good food, good company and lots of drunken debauchery, including fun with a very small willy (now there's something I never thought I'd say!)

This weekend was a lot quieter. Spent it looking after my brother and his girlfriend's cute little puppy whilst they were on holiday. A weekend of dog walking in the country was the perfect antidote to a hectic week.
And what a hectic week it was, have got myself a bit of temping, so am naughtily blogging at work at the moment, and have an interview tomorrow and 2 other applications to do. Keep your fingers crossed for me that hopefully I will get a new permanent job soon!

More positive today

2009-09-17T23:08:00.002+01:00

thankfully. Think I was just having a bit of a wobble.
Have an interview and another couple of agencies have called me so hopefully I might get something soon. And even if I don't I guess it's not the end of the world.
Had a lovely evening out with the girls and a few sloe gin mojitos have definitely helped in cheering me up.

Having dinner with G and mates tomorrow and then off to Manchester for the weekend. Looking forward to it already!

Feeling a bit down at the moment

2009-09-16T03:02:00.002+01:00

Was feeling so positive at first that I would find a new job quickly as there seemed to be a few more out there.
I applied to about 4 the week I found out out was losing my job and another 3 or 4 a week after that and all this has come to is 1 lousy interview. I didn't get that one because someone else had "more experience" yet again.

I'm feeling really crappy, loads of the things I applied for were so easy and I could do them standing on my head and they didn't even interview me.
Things to apply for also seem to be drying up, there's hardly anything out there :(

Watched a really depressing episode of dispatches yesterday too, all about people with loads of experience and degrees who still couldn't get work and how there's no support that is set up for them, which kind of makes me feel like there's no point.

Gah, I really need to snap out of it, but all I want to do is lie in bed under my duvet.

Fell off the diet wagon

2009-09-03T11:23:00.003+01:00

quite spectacularly last night!

I had been doing so well. Yesterday I had healthy soup for lunch, snacked on rice crackers, went to dance class as planned and then for a healthy vegan meal at Vita Organic. I had one glass of wine and then went home. So far so good.

But, that's when it all went wrong. I then managed to drink half a bottle of wine with lovely flatmate, eat half an indian takeaway and all the fish fingers left in the freezer.

Gah!

Only 2 and a half more days

2009-09-02T15:06:00.005+01:00

until I am officially unemployed again.

Keep your fingers crossed that I get a new job soon! I have applied for loads of things but none are closing until at least next week so hopefully I will start to hear then.

I was very naughty this weekend. Spent it mostly with G, although managed a bit of retro shopping with the lovely flatmate at the East End Thrift Store (a dress and some shoes, since you ask).

Anyway, as I was with G I ended up with lots of man sized portions and takeaway, so not good for the diet. Although I did make it to the gym on Friday afternoon.

As pennance I am being dragged by my lovely lawyer friend to a Michael Jackson style dance class at Pinapple Studios and a vegan meal tonight.

Oh well, it will certainly be an experience!

9 stone 9 pounds and counting

2009-08-27T17:47:00.004+01:00

or at least I was when I weighed myself at the gym on Tuesday. Down from 10 stone 7. I still have a bit of a belly but I didn't realise quite how far I'd got just by eating a bit better. It's made me feel that I really can get down to goal if I keep up the healthy eating and carry on with the gym.

Even though I'm not in a great situation workwise and everything I'm actually feeling quite positive at the moment :)

After lots of stretching

2009-08-20T12:13:00.003+01:00

my calves are finally back to normal. So now I have decided to punish them with a gym session this evening... ha ha.
I am actually itching to get back into the gym so hopefully it will be good.
I have also made 3 different salads for lunch and brought in lots of seeds and nuts to snack on so hopefully today will be a good one diet and fitness wise.
Now the challenge is to keep it up!

I am soooo unfit

2009-08-19T17:35:00.003+01:00

I can't quite believe I've let myself get this way. I think it's partly from being ill but also from being all contented and eating man sized portions and drinking real ales with G. So not good for my fitness or waistline.

I took a Samba class on Sunday and my calves are still killing me so much I can barely walk. Have been wanting to go to the gym but been in too much pain.
So that's it, I'm going to start again.

For lunch today I have had homemade aubergine curry with brown rice and for dinner I'm going to make a selection of salads (also to be had for lunch tomorrow). Also I really have to go to the gym tomorrow and start going regularly again and start using Weight Loss Resources properly again.

Things I forgot to update

2009-08-14T13:19:00.004+01:00

G and I are actually, 100% officially, going out now! How did I manage this? Simple (if only I'd known) I flirted with someone else and he didn't like it. Next day he actually initiated a conversation on how we should be together. So that at least makes me happy, although I'm still sort of waiting for it to fall apart.

Also I have to say a big thanks to the lovely Girl with the Golden Touch for posting a great make up offer for Bourjois lipstick and gloss. New make up always makes me smile :)

Well I'm being made redundant

2009-08-14T12:55:00.005+01:00

for the second time this year. Although I'm not too upset about it in a way as this job bores me stiff anyway. I'm quite sick of charity infrastructure and would like to get back into doing something where I actually feel like I'm making a difference and people aren't bickering about insignificant things all the time.
Hopefully this will give me a chance to find something I actually enjoy doing, onwards and upwards and all that.

Anway, updates from last time....

Beer festival was great, just what I needed after finding out I didn't have a job anymore, although I got really pissed and ended up joining the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA)!
Friday I felt like death but I had a good time.

Weekend was quiet as I wasn't well :(

But, this week although it's a bit late I'm starting as I mean to go on! Great night out last night catching up with a couple of lovely ladies I haven't seen for a while over sloe gin mojitos (I can highly recommend them). Then today I am meeting a friend after work for drinks and G might come along too.
Saturday I have a friend's birthday, Sunday a picnic in the park (fingers crossed for good weather) and Monday I have a colleague's birthday drinks.

Thank god I have Tuesday off to recover!!

I can't believe it's August already

2009-08-05T23:46:00.002+01:00

this year is going so fast. I'm not quite sure if that's good or bad.
Anyway it's been a while, I really must get better at doing this blog
At the weekend I went down to Hove to visit my brother and his girlfriend. We got rained off from Brighton pride and ended up drinking and smoking weed in this guy's flat most of the day.
Then we had a barbecue on the beach which was great.
They have brought the cutest little puppy. He's a long legged Staffordshire Bull Terrier and will grow up to look quite vicious but for now he's the sweetest, most mischievous little thing.
Spent the rest of the weekend playing with him and almost (although only almost) want one of my own.

Saw G on Monday and we had a lazy evening. I really worry that maybe I like him too much, I actually missed him over the weekend, how sad is that. I worry that he'll get bored of me, I still can't quite understand how someone so nice and lovely would want to be with me. But I guess I should just try to enjoy it.

Anyway tomorrow will be a stressful one, have an interview for my job full time. Really hope I get it, I soooo don't want to be unemployed and job hunting again, it's totally crappy.

Keeping my fingers crossed that as I've been doing the job since April I might have a little bit of an advantage.

Oh well, yet again I suppose I can only do my best. Of the the Great British Beer Festival afterwards to forget all about it ;)

Wow I was bitter!

2009-06-29T00:37:00.003+01:00

was just reading through some of my old stuff and the thing that really struck me was that even when I was with bad man I was so bitter towards him. I can see now, just looking at what I wrote that I really wasn't happy. In fact I couldn't have been further from happy.
Hindsight is always 20/20!

Right

2009-06-29T00:26:00.004+01:00

well I've been quite rubbish this weekend. Yesterday I was planning pampering and relaxing but had a total nightmare with the water pouring into the flat and the amount of bailing out I had to doe to make sure the front garden didn't flood high enough to come in through the windows!
So I was lazy and had wine and takeaway and then watched DVDs all night. Then today I was going to sort some stuff but was far too lazy and didn't really achieve anything.
Have to get to the gym tomorrow though as I have an appointment with my trainer later in the week and he is going to be horrified by my lack of excercise. Which to be honest I am too. I mean I know I've been ill but I'm feeling awful and blobby. Definitely in need of a proper workout!

Weather that London can't cope with

2009-06-27T18:58:00.005+01:00

Number 1
Snow. Anything over 5 minutes of it and the whole place comes to a standstill. Swedish flatmate finds this both funny and frustrating.

Number 2, as demonstrated by today, rain in any sort of quantity. That's right I said RAIN, that thing that Britain is quite famous for having a lot of. So far I have had rain pouring through the window, even though it was closed, and coming through the wall above (I think upstairs' guttering may be blocked!), the drain at the front blocking necessitating me to get into waterproofs and wellies and go and unblock it and the torrent of water flowing down the street caused by all the drains in the road blocking and overflowing. I mean for god's sake it's only one little storm, some countries have a whole monsoon season.

I'm starting to think my other mate is right when she says that this place can't cope with weather any more extreme that 12 degrees with a light drizzle!

Nearly July

2009-06-25T20:06:00.002+01:00

and life is a bit better. I mean I still don't have a secure job or anything but I'm getting interviews and stuff and generally feeling happier.
G and I are still officially "not together" but everything we do is very coupley, including him inviting me to a festival with him and starting to volunteer with my kids' project. We speak almost everyday and although I am not getting too excited and am taking it slowly I'm actually having fun, which is what I realise was lacking from the relationship with bad man. So even if nothing comes of it at least I'm having some fun, which I was really in need of!

Have also been getting rid of a lot of stuff on ebay and trying to generally sort out the mess of too small clothes that is my room.
Next step getting back into a proper gym regime and getting back the ok body I was starting to have!

A lot has happened

2009-05-13T17:35:00.004+01:00

since I last posted so I will do you a quick update (and apologise for being such a rubbish blogger).

I am working temporarily for 3 days a week and doing 1 day freelancing from home for my old boss. This is probably only for about 3 months but at least it will keep me out of that soul destroying place known as the jobcentre for a while.

Ex is still hanging around a bit, keeps contacting me when he is hungover, I am not being sympathetic.

I think the whole G thing is a non starter, seems like he just wants a friends with benefits thing and I'm not sure I can be bothered with that.

But on to brighter things, yesterday I got this great dress from Vidler and Nixon (which I must say looks a lot better on someone with a few curves i.e. me) and have a few new season things on pre-order. I have already spent pretty much all my money but they are such beautiful pieces and anyway I'm having a big clearout and ebay session so I'm allowed ;)

And more jobhunting...

2009-04-07T13:06:00.004+01:00

god this is getting tedious. Didn't even get a couple of jobs that I interviewed for that I am way over qualified for and have many years more experience than they demanded because "we liked you, but there was someone with more experience."
Some people with some bloody good experience must be going for some really crappy jobs. I guess that's just the state of the market at the moment though, which is pretty depressing. Anyway had an interview yesterday (for a job which I kind of hope I don't get 'cos it sounds so boring) and another today (for one that I actually want) so hopefully something will come through. I have another couple of applications to do too.

Had quite a nice weekend, met up with G on Friday night/Saturday morning (still not sure what is going on there, if anything, but it's nice). Then chilled out on Saturday and went to Kenwood House and walking on Hampstead Heath on Sunday. Am trying not to get too stressed about the situation with the jobs because there's not really a lot I can do about it except keep trying.

Hopefully it will all work out somehow!

Went for an interview today

2009-03-16T22:28:00.004Z

would like to get it but I don't hold out much hope. It's so hard trying to keep my enthusiasm up.
Anyway then I went for a little pampering... I got my hair cut Pretty short as well. I now have a cute little bob. It's blowdried straight at the moment but I think it will look really good curly with some little clips in it. I like having shorter hair, it makes me feel freer. Hopefully I will feel more confident too.
I really need to get a job.

Anyway, had a great weekend. Ended up going out to the pub after volunteering at young archaeologists and ended up with G again. I really kind of like him but part of me thinks it's way too soon to get involved with anyone. And anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself as I'm not sure he even likes me. He's nice though, and a good kisser :)

Still going

2009-03-14T01:04:00.002Z

but it's getting tough! I feel really bored being at home all day with no money. Am constantly applying for jobs but no joy yet. I have an interview on Monday though and did 4 more applications the other day so hopefully I will get something soon.
Today I think I may have finally managed to get housing benefit sorted out so hopefully I wont have to stress too much about my rent.
I still feel kind of crappy about claiming this stuff but I've paid my taxes so I don't know why. I just feel guilty for some reason.
Anyway, flatmate has been fabulous, we are going out for a cheap dinner tomorrow night to cheer me up . She has a new bloke on the go so have my fingers crossed for her.
I have heard from nasty ex/bad man which was freaky. He has been told by his doctor that if he doesn't change his lifestyle he will give himself a heart attack which I think scared him a bit so he called for a chat. It totally threw me to be honest. I never wanted to be right that his lifestyle was killing him.
I'm really worried as I know he's gone out partying tonight so he obviously isn't actually heeding the doctor's advice. I'm really worried that he's going to die, but there's nothing I can do about that, I did everything I could. Only he can make the change.

Well no more snogs for me...

2009-03-06T01:14:00.003Z

looks like it was just a one off as I haven't heard from G. Although maybe he is busy at work or something. Have kind of lost the sense of that since the redundancy.
I have applied for 3 more jobs and am doing another one tomorrow. It doesn't help that I keep reading these horribly depressing statistics though. Sometimes I doubt I'll ever find a job and it's only been just over a month.

Anyway, tomorrow I am going to get my eyebrows shaped so I look pretty for the weekend and then going to try to sort out my housing benefit (so not fun).

This weekend I have a few nice and cheap activities planned kicking off with a local gig tomorrow night.
Maybe I'll meet some sexy men there.

Had a nice calm day today

2009-03-02T23:36:00.002Z

had to go and sign on which was rubbish but I have finally managed to get an appointment with the disability employment advisor, who hopefully will be able to provide me with more help than the bloody job centre have so far. They don't really seem to know what to do with me. I don't think they're used to people with qualifications.

Got my shopping delivered so I have lots of nice healthy things to cook to help me to eat a bit better which should help with the MS. No more takeaways for me!

Then this evening I went to pottery class which was lovely and theraputic. Somehow playing with clay is just so relaxing. So anyway, I am off for an early night.
Tomorrow my healthy living plan begins!

So I've been single for 2 weeks now

2009-03-02T01:09:00.005Z

and it's slowly getting easier. I still think about him and I still feel lonely without him. But then I try to remember how lonely I still was when I was with him.
When I couldn't reach him and I knew he was ignoring me. When I had no affection from him, despite lying next to him. Then I felt lonely too.

I had a bit of a snog with G, who is v cute and on the board of my old work. I really like him. I always fancied him even when I was with bad man (but obviously didn't do anything about it). I am trying not to get excited by it, but obviously it would be great if something could happen between us. But even if it doesn't it made me feel so much better about myself.
He said such nice things to me. Told me I was lovely and beautiful. And then I thought that these are the things that a man who likes me should say.
Knowing that bad man never said these things made me see how wrong things were with us.

I still don't have a new job but have put in another 3 applications last week. Wish me luck!

Single Ladies

2009-02-15T23:47:00.004Z

Well after 2 and a half years I finally did it and left him. Bad man that is. All this time I've been trying to make it work but we've just been going round in circles.

And that's just it, it's always me trying to make it work. Maybe I should go and see that movie "He's Just Not That Into You" because that's how I feel right now.
I'm kind of pathetically devastated and part of me is hoping that he'll call me and ask me to come back, but I know he wont. That's one of the things that hurts the most, it was always me fighting to make things work, me compromising, he really couldn't be bothered.

Am a bit of a mess today, barely even got out of bed and keep crying.
Have to try to pull myself together as I have to go and sign on at 9.15 tomorrow morning then go to a recruitment agents to apply for a PA job.
Gah, wish I could sleep and cry for a week. I knew I shouldn't have tried to have a nice valentines day it's always horrible for me.

On that note at least it's a year since my last day of steroids for MS, V day 2008. See what I mean, always rubbish.

Grrrrrrr

2009-02-11T03:20:00.003Z

bad man was all, oh how are you. Are you around tonight today. Despite the fact that he called me at 8pm to see if I was free and then was shocked that, no, I had made plans.
It was lovely flatmate's last night in London before she goes off to visit her sister in Spain so we had a few glasses of vino and a nice meal.
Supposed to be seeing the miserable bastalward tomorrow. Let's see if he even remembers making arrangements with me.
Oh well, at least I had a fun night!

The first week

2009-02-10T01:38:00.004Z

of unemployment has come and gone without much to report. I have signed up for loads more agencies, done more typing, Word and Excel tests than I thought possible, filled in several application forms and still have no job.

In the end I also bit the bullet and went down to sign up for Jobseekers' Allowance. I had to sign up over the phone which involved a ridiculously long form to be filled in with questions such as "do you have more than £16,000 invested in savings, stocks or shares" er no, that's why I'm signing up for £60 a week, or "can you do manual lifting work" er no, I have MS and don't you think if I could I might just go out and get a job in archaeology which is what I'm actually trained for.

Anyway after the looooooong form filling process I then had to go down to the Jobcentre later in the week to get properly registered. What a revelation that was! It is one of the most depressing places I have ever been to in my life, the whole experience was completely soul destroying.
Yet again I had to go through the questions about manual lifting, er no, and this time night shifts were even mentioned. Yes of course having MS which makes me constantly exhausted it's going to be easy for me to do night shifts?!? Not to mention that I wouldn't really want to be travelling about late at night in the particular area of East London where I live. I mean I'd be a woman on my own for gods' sake.

Now I am waiting to see if the system I've been paying into since I was 16 will deign to give me that £60 a week or not. Apparently it might take up to 2 weeks for them to decide and then if I get it god knows how long to actually pay it to me.
I just hope that I get one of the jobs that I've applied for before I actually need it.

Onwards and upwards

2009-01-31T20:42:00.006Z

As it's still dark and miserable outside I thought I would make the blog a bit lighter so have changed the background. Hope you like it.
I am now officially redundant and have had the last 2 days celebrating/commiserating and drowning my sorrows. The job that I thought I had lined up fell through so now I am back to job hunting again :(
Keep your fingers crossed that I will get something soon.
Lovely flatmate has a new job and is going to start soon which is great and gives me hope that I might get one too.
Anyway had my official leaving do on Thursday and had a nice drink post work. My colleagues got me some lovely earrings and some flowers and we had a fair bit of wine.

Then yesterday I went for some yummy Turkish food and also popped in to the Mexican bar for a Margarita... or two...

As a consequence I am have a nice quiet night tonight to try to give my head a break and am going to have chilled out weekend. Keeping my fingers for a new job in February!! At the very list the year's most depressing month is finally over.

Oh dear

2009-01-06T13:32:00.002Z

just read that last post back. What a moany cow I am.
So lets have a more positive note. Really I am very lucky. I live in London. I have a nice(ish) flat, my rent is just about doable, and I should have a new job.
Life is really quite good.

Some people have real problems to be worrying about...

It's been a long time

2009-01-03T01:02:00.003Z

and a lot has happened. I haven't been on here in a while and It's a brand new year. Hopefully it will be better than the last one.
I have been made redundant and will be leaving my job at the end of January. Which is crap. Although I have a new job lined up (fingers crossed) but it won't be the same. Although I'm just a PA which bores the hell out of me, I really love working with disabled people and feel at home in my current organisation. I can tell the new job isn't going to be as good. Although it pays better I will still be a PA and I can already tell I will be bored. Oh well. I guess I should be greatful for a job in this climate. People are losing theirs all over the place. Including the lovely Swede, whose contract ends at the end of January, she has an interview, which I really hope she gets, as she deserves some happiness.
Her relationship has broken up after 7 years and although she's taking it well, I really hope she has some happiness this year!

It's been an historic week

2008-11-11T21:57:00.004Z

America will have its first black president and I'm so glad.
It's good to see someone who actually looks like you be successful.

Also, I don't want to jinx it, but life doesn't seem to be too bad. The man is actually being quite lovely to me, work isn't so bad, I have no money but get paid on Friday.

Hmmm, I'm just waiting for something to go disastrously wrong.
Fingers crossed it wont!

Politics, politics

2008-11-04T15:09:00.004Z

and more politics is what I'm thinking about today. Why? Well because although I am British and live in the UK this American election is so historic. Who would have thought just 10 years ago that a non white person would ever be so close to being US president.

I urge any Americans to get out and vote! Particularly if you're a democrat ;)

I'm so hoping Obama wins. Another Republican president would be such a disaster!

Am following the story here while I'm supposed to be doing work and keeping everything crossed.

But on to brighter things

2008-10-22T15:08:00.009+01:00

I have two lovely new pieces from Vidler + Nixon.

This fabulous dress. which will look great with this season's coloured tights or some leggings or skinny jeans.

And a gorgeous coat which is similar to this, although with a shorter skirt part and not so long at the back.

They are both fabulous and make me feel like a princess. Bring on the party season!!

Hmph

2008-10-22T15:04:00.004+01:00

well the wedding was bloody awful. Ex was a smug twat as usual and made a point of not only ignoring me in a very deliberate manner (I had tried to be friendly being as we were going to have to spend a whole day in the same company) but actually made a point of looking in a different direction when we were talking to the same group of people and generally behaving like I didn't exist.

Ruined the whole day for me and made me feel as small and crap as when we were together.
Although at least it has helped me come to one decision. I will never again put myself in the situation where I am likely to be in the same room as him. This will mean that I can only see these particular friends if I meet up with them separately and wont be able to go to birthday celebrations etc. But I have realised that I actually cannot stand him and it will be better in the long run if I never see him again.

Back in London

2008-10-07T16:20:00.005+01:00

from a beautiful, relaxing long-weekend in the country. Now I'm not usually a country sort of girl, but this was a fabulous little cottage with an open fire, the girls and plenty of wine. Bliss.

It's a shock being back in London, everything is so busy. Am loving it though, I have even started looking forward to the weekend's wedding. Now there's a turn up for the books.

Another week down

2008-09-18T16:15:00.003+01:00

and overall it hasn't been a bad one.
I have discovered podcasts which I love, love, love. Even if I do listen to "sad" things like The Guardian Daily or The best of the Today Programme.
We have planned our lovely girlie holiday at a cottage in Kent, and whilst the others have lots of crazy schemes and plans for me it should hopefully be a few days of relaxation.
Tonight I am going to a friend's leaving do with free wine - always a good thing! Then tomorrow I am shopping with my mum (lots of pressies for me) and probably seeing the man.
And on Saturday I am doing volunteering in the morning, then shopping for a dress for my friends' wedding, then going to another friend's birthday. Thankfully she's not the marrying type so it should be cocktails and fun all the way.
All in all I'm expecting a rather good weekend.

Wow

2008-09-13T17:15:00.002+01:00

the man has come over all lovely :)
Last night I stupidly managed to go out to meet him without my purse, so not only did he buy me dinner, he's been paying for me all day as I've only just got in.
But nicest of all he remembered that he'd never got me a birthday present (not that I was expecting one, we're not a presents kind of couple) and got me a brand new ipod nano. A very mini one of the kind that have just been launched. So he does look after me sometimes.
Had lots of cuddles and kisses last night too. Mmmmm feeling loved up for once.
Something's bound to go wrong now! ;)

Good things I have done today...

2008-09-11T23:22:00.002+01:00

1. Sent off application form and money to join the gym so I will actually have to do some exercise (or just lose lots of money).

2. Kept up my not drinking, since the weekend, even though I was really bored this evening and wanted to pop out to get a bottle of wine to have with a DVD.

3. Not got takeaway even though I couldn't be bothered to cook. Thus not wasting any of my last pittance on money until payday on Monday.

4. Filled in fatigue record for the occupational therapist (I kept forgetting).

5. Not put myself out for bad man. Am doing what I want to this weekend. Sod him and his lack of planning. "Oh I might be free" just isn't good enough.

Bad things I have done today...

1. Not done my physio exercises yet, which means I may not be bothered/have the energy. (delete as appropriate)

2. Not cooked any dinner, but survived this evening on the very unhealthy diet of a bowl of my flatmate's soup and half a pack of bombay mix. Hmmmm.

3. Not put away any of my clothes or tidied any of my state of a room.

4. Spent £250 of next month's money already on gym membership that I will probably never use! Why oh why?!?

More fantasy shopping

2008-09-11T14:03:00.003+01:00

Whilst I'm at planning my wedding outfit, I'm coveting these Irregular Choice lovelies to go with it. Hmmmm, methinks I need to win the lottery.

Two down...

2008-09-11T13:48:00.005+01:00

one to go. Weddings that is. Also one hen night done and dusted. As I have to buy an expensive dress for the wedding anyway I'm going to treat myself to a lovely one from Vivien of Holloway which I shall team with a fab fascinator from Chapeau Claudette.
At least them all getting married gives me a good excuse for some shopping!

Went to Stockholm for the hen night so am totally knackered, looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Especially as the one after I've got Young Archaeologists Club to run and a birthday to go to. Have to chill while I can.

More weddings...

2008-08-12T14:48:00.003+01:00

I have a hotel to pay for and a gift to buy for next week and now another one for October. Not to mention the dress, train fare, taxis, drinks etc.

Does it make me a bitch that I'm annoyed that I'm spending most of my money this year (which I could use to go on a much needed holiday) on other people's weddings?

And why do they always have to have them in the middle of nowhere, therefore necessitating a ridiculously expensive train journey, a hotel stay of at least one night and loads of taxis grrrrr

I wanted to go to Barbados to see my family :(

Bad man was actually nice and helpful

2008-07-28T11:35:00.003+01:00

this weekend. We had a lovely night on Saturday, despite being roasting hot, had a great meal of rice and peas and curry goat (going back to my West Indian roots) and chilled out. He was hungover as per usual but he managed to actually be bearable company.
Sunday he was actually pretty lovely. He made me breakfast then we went down to docklands and sat by the river enjoying a cider, or two.. or three.
Then he made me a roast dinner, which was delish despite the rather warm weather and we just hugged and relaxed all evening.
Hmmm, he might be partially redeemed.

It's lovely and sunny

2008-07-26T12:50:00.004+01:00

so am not going to write much, as I want to go out and enjoy it.

Things that have made me smile today are:

The lovely weather
The man on BBC News 24 who referred to the Archbishop of Canterbury as Rowan Atkinson (hmmm I never knew Mr Bean was religious)
The sunshine
My ASOS order arriving - new clothes yay!
The sunshine
My leg and arm continuing to get better

.... did I mention the lovely weather and sunshine? ;)

OK, well..

2008-07-22T10:17:00.003+01:00

that was definitely a long break from posting, but a lot's been happening to keep me away.
Mainly that I had a bad relapse of my MS and lost movement and strength in my right arm, hand and leg, so I couldn't walk and could only type with my left hand!!
Anyway, took some time off work (including a week spent in bed) and was going to have to have intravenous steroid treatment again.
BUT... then I started getting better. I had to cancel a trip to go on an excavation in Yorkshire, but managed a shopping trip to Paris that I had booked and came back regaining mobility. So, anyway, the steroid treatment has been cancelled, which I am very pleased about and now I am back at work again!
Hopefully I will continue to get better, keep your fingers crossed for me.

Right...

2008-06-25T16:41:00.003+01:00

I have decided. I am going to make some changes in my life.

1. I have put on loads of weight recently (a whole stone) after the steroid treatment so I am actually going to make an effort to do some exercise.
When the bloody ear infection, that I've had for 3 weeks now, finally clears up I am going to go swimming. I did some yoga yesterday and am aiming for at least a couple of times a week on that. Also I have signed up for a free trial of British Military Fitness an outdoor exercise class with former military instructors. If that doesn't get me fit nothing will. I am also going to try to cut back on the drinking and takeaways and generally eat more healthily (and especially must stop skipping breakfast!)

2. I am going to stick my job out for as long as possible on this pittance of a salary, to get some more experience in disability issues and make my staying power look a bit better on my CV and then I am going to apply for jobs in museum access as that's more like what I want to do really.

3. The new fit and healthy me is going to stop moping about waiting for the man to phone and be much stronger about not calling him all the time. Conversely this seems to make him want to call me more often. Also I shall be so busy being fabulous that I may not have much time for him ;)

4. I am going to enjoy my life more. After all I'm very lucky. I live in the west. I don't have much money, but I'm not exactly starving. I have friends and family. I go out and have fun. I live in this fabulous, amazing, diverse city.

Basically I need to learn to appreciate the small things :)

Well

2008-06-13T02:00:00.002+01:00

what can I say. Birthday was fun, but yet again something was missing. The bloody man let me down again. I know he has to work, I know it's his business etc. etc. but sometimes I really just feel like giving up. This blog is just turning into man moaning and I don't want to be one of those girls. Grrr.
I shall ponder it for a while. I'm feeling extra shitty at the moment as I have a nasty painful ear infection and the antibiotics the doctor gave me make me feel really exhausted, nauseous and sick but don't seem to have any effect on the infection. I am going back tomorrow so hopefully I will get some better antibiotics. Have only been doing half days at work all week as I can't manage to stay awake, although that seems weird for an insomniac like me.
Anyway, off for some beauty sleep and more pondering....

A whole other city

2008-05-31T19:27:00.005+01:00

It's been a long time, been too busy and having too much fun to post much. Just back from Rome which was fabulous. Met up with some of the girls from handbag.com last night which was really fun and now off for some yummy Vietnamese food with the man.
I need a holiday to recover from the holiday. Hoping for some relaxing pampering on my birthday on Friday :)

It's raining

2008-05-15T12:56:00.002+01:00

it's pouring, work is very boring. I wish it was the weekend. Except I am working tomorrow afternoon and volunteering on Saturday morning so wont have my usual Friday rest. Gah!!!

Actually

2008-05-04T21:08:00.003+01:00

the man has also ruined my weekend a bit, by promising that he'd be free then having to work through it. I know that's the nature of his work and that it's unpredictable but it's starting to get so annoying, I'm really getting to the end of my tether.
A mate is offering to set me up on a blind date and part of me feels like accepting.
Anyway on to better things, having a lovely curry and bottle of red tonight and thinking of heading off to the Cans festival tomorrow. Yay!

Gah, so Boris is mayor

2008-05-04T18:29:00.001+01:00

and I'm depressed. It's ruined my whole bank holiday. I don't even have my lovely flatemate to commiserate with as she's away and the man doesn't care about politics :(

I don't usually

2008-05-02T01:27:00.004+01:00

post much of my politics, but I'm really worried for London right now. Polls have closed in the vote for the mayor and I just really, really hope that Boris Johnson hasn't been elected. I did all I could, I voted for good old red Ken and encouraged everyone else I know to vote for anyone except Boris, but you can never rely on the British public. There are a lot of secret fascists out there.
There is this image that Boris is some kind of lovable buffoon but I think he's much more sinister than that. He might be academically clever but practically stupid but I think he's also prejudiced, malicious, nasty and self serving.
I don't know what I'll do if he gets in. It's just about the only thing right now that could make me think about leaving my beloved city :(

Karaoke, wigs and erm abstinance

2008-04-29T01:37:00.001+01:00

not quite the same as last year, when I did my mate's karaoke and then got hot sex from the bad man. Had a fab time this weekend. Did a street dance class at Sadlers Wells followed by a slap up Turkish meal on Friday.
Then came the karaoke.
May have made a bit of a fool of myself by starting drinking really early and being a bit too desperately flirty. But seriously I can count the number of times I've had sex this year on the fingers of one hand. I know he's been ill but am starting to really think I'm not sure if I can go on with the bad man like this. It's not like he even gives me any affection. Don't know if it's really worth it. I know that's bitchy because he's not very well, but I kind of feel that I'm expected to always support him even though he never does the same for me. It's wearing me down and I don't know if I can do it any more. Maybe I should go back to being single? or maybe not? I don't know...

Weekend news

2008-04-21T12:48:00.002+01:00

had a bit of a killer weekend. Started on Thursday when I went to see the Magnets, a great a cappella singing group (no really!!) at Kitsch Lounge Riot. There was much, much vino and singing along!!!
Then on Friday I had to get up early for a hairdsresser's appointment. Haircuts with a hangover are never fun. She made my hair look great though, so I left feeling happy but knackered. After a quick nap it was over to the dark side(South London!) for a curry with the girls, although yet again it turned into a bit of a wine fest. I seem to remember there was also quite a lot of port.... oops!
Saturday I was up for a little tlc so the man cooked me some dinner, then yesterday I went for noodles with my lovely flatmate. Was quite chuffed with myself except I got in to work today to find an email from Friday morning offering me a spare ticket to Goldfrapp. Gah! why didn't I check my work emails, that would have been fab. Oh well, you win some you lose some I guess.

Just came accross

2008-04-15T17:09:00.002+01:00

this stuff... Santa's Ghetto pictures on walls in the West Bank.
So cool!

Things I am looking at today...

2008-04-15T11:12:00.003+01:00

the office is nice and quiet so I can get on with things.... not work things obviously, internet browsing things. I have caught up on my favourite blogs and a few others.
I have also been looking at the website of Wallywoods
Wallywoods is a really cool gallery in Berlin, I went there a couple of weekends ago to watch my brother play a gig for the Bleepfest. It's a pretty cool space, check it out if you're ever in Berlin

The trouble with weddings

2008-04-14T20:39:00.003+01:00

is that there's suddenly so damn many of them! Yet another of my friends has set a date for hers, making it the third I have to go to this year. I can't go on holiday when I want because I have to spend my whole summer and most of my money going to other people's weddings.

I guess I'm getting old, all my friends seem to be paring off, getting married and having kids.
And whilst I'm happy for them and everything, somehow I don't ever see it happening for me. I still feel far to young for all that, even though I'm going to be 30 (yes 30, don't know how that snuck up on me) in a couple of years. I wonder if you ever really feel any older. Hmmm, maybe I'm destined to spend my whole life flitting from unsuitable man, to unsuitable job, to unsuitable party ad nauseum. Still, doesn't sound too bad there's nothing wrong with a few misadventures!
Speaking of which check out the new blog I'm reading.... The Misadventures of Miss. Bax

Am bloody ill again!

2008-04-10T02:21:00.003+01:00

Thanks to the steroid treatment weakening my immune system, I seem to be getting every cold going at the moment. So annoying. It's now almost half past two in the morning but I can't sleep as my nose is all blocked and I can't breathe. Have to go in to work tomorrow as my boss will be off for two weeks and there's loads I need to do. Thank god I have Fridays off, will need the rest!

What a week

2008-03-16T01:18:00.002Z

I have worked far too hard as usual, even went in on Friday (which is usually my day off) as a favour and ended up doing a 10 hour day!
Too tired to do much tonight or last night. Went out for a curry with the man yesterday and Thai with my lovely flatmate tonight. Bit boring for a weekend. Oh well, tomorrow I think I will be off to do a spot of retail therapy. I am coveting these lovely shoes by Irregular Choice. Soooo preety!

Well...

2008-02-26T22:45:00.002Z

it's been a while and a pretty crappy while at that. Had a nasty MS relapse and lost strength in one leg. Have been hopping about for the last few weeks going to doctors, neurologists and MS nurses at various clinics and hospitals. I ended up having three days of intravenous steroid treatment which was pretty horrendous.

It does seem to have done the trick though and am no longer hobbling on crutches. Had to go three mornings in a row and spend about an hour attached to the drip each day. It was pretty awful to say the least and I wasn't even allowed to drink!

Work were great though and didn't mind me taking the mornings off and as I say I am slowly regaining strength in my leg.

Bloody man was pretty useless as per usual. I don't think he really knew what to do, he still find's the idea of me being ill a bit difficult I think. Oh well. Hopefully this year will get better from here in.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

I went to the Santuary

2008-02-01T12:28:00.000Z

on Wednesday and it was fantastic!! My mum treated me to the day there as I've been ill and a bit down recently. It was sooooo relaxing, I want to go again now!
We started with a pedicure (I have lovely bright pink toes now) then we had lunch in the restaurant. After lunch we had a steam and a jacuzzi followed by a massage. Then we had afternoon tea and a little glass of bubbly. Finally we went on these meditation beds that they have, which were so relaxing I started to fall asleep. Somehow by then it was nearly 7pm so we had to leave. I don't know where the time went but it was a fabulous day, I felt well and truly pampered!

Heading over to the Dark Side

2008-01-26T14:36:00.000Z

... by which of course I mean South London, for dinner and drinks tonight. Lovely and relaxing and really rather civilised for me on a Saturday.
Am having a very chilled out one and have mostly been reading vacuous chick lit (I'm on leave so I'm allowed a break from the serious stuff) and this rather more intellectual site about 2 booksellers trying to open a new bookshop after the closure of their local Waterstones...

Open a bookshop, what could possibly go wrong?

It reminds me of one of my better jobs, working in a small independent bookshop. I really must start reading more again. Maybe I should make that a belated new year's resolution.

Yay, I'm on leave

2008-01-24T18:53:00.000Z

for the next week!!! Sadly I'm not going away, just going to chill out in London, but I had loads of leave left and have to take it by April. I'm sooo looking forward to a bit of rest. Hopefully I will do a day of pampering sometime too. I've been looking at the Sanctuary and dreaming!

Only half a day

2008-01-17T12:23:00.000Z

of work left. I LOVE only doing 4 days a week. Don't know how I shall ever manage a full week again. Also I'm volunteering on Saturday morning so it will be nice to have tomorrow off.
My boss is off so it's quite a relaxed day.
Today I have mostly been spending loads of money internet shopping at Urban Outfitters, even though most of the stuff I bought was in the sale I compensated by buying more of it!

Have also been playing on handbag.com forums.

Hmmm maybe I should do some work?... or not!

Nooooo

2008-01-16T14:20:00.000Z

they want to close down my favourite facebook application. Hasbro and Mattel want them to remove Scrabulous . Now I might actually have to do some work :(

An evening of cocktails

2008-01-15T14:41:00.000Z

at the lovely Goring Hotel awaits me. The best part is that I won't even have to pay! I'm still completely exhausted from the other night though so probably won't be out very late (I'm already drifting off at work). I'm in need of some serious rest!

Also on the plus side, the man is feeling bad and has volunteered to take me out for a really nice meal, mmmmm food! Not sure where we're going to go yet but I intend to very much make the most of it.

Haven't had the energy to look at anything of much interest today, have mostly just been playing on facebook. Oh well, will look for some more intellectual stuff tomorrow.

After last night

2008-01-14T15:12:00.000Z

I am sooooo tired! Somehow I made it in to work just about on time and I'm now trying not to fall asleep at my desk. Only another 2 hours to go.
Then I am supposed to go to my ceramics class (yes I know it's sad, but I like getting all mucky and covered in clay....ooer!) but somehow I doubt I'll manage to stay until the end without collapsing into the clay.
I need to go back to bed!!!
A friend sent me this fab website though so should hopefully manage to get to the theatre when I'm more awake. £2 per ticket for London theatre!! That's got to be worth it!

I can't sleep

2008-01-14T04:26:00.000Z

am cursing this insomnia, I have to be up in 3 hours and haven't managed any sleep at all yet!
Am playing on the internet in an attempt to tire my brain out but it doesn't seem to be working... and I've got work today :(
At least I have discovered this site, which I love...
Post Secret

Karma?

2008-01-14T01:31:00.000Z

Well it seems he got his comeuppance for standing me up. The result of his night out on the booze and drugs? A nasty dose of gout. Poor him, doubt he'll be doing that again in a hurry. Or at least I hope not. Anyway I ended up spending much of the weekend looking after him so didn't really go out, although that means that I didn't really spend much money, which is good. It's payday on Tuesday (new job has a weird pay period) so I should be able to go sale shopping... yay!
Sadly these and these which I love, are not reduced (typical) so I will just have to get them at full price.
Going to sneakily check out the online sales and plan my purchasing at work tomorrow :)

Oh dear

2008-01-09T01:13:00.000Z

it's not looking good. Bloody man has only gone and let me down again. Apparently he was "working" with his cronies. Shoving tons of money up his nose more like. Hmmm not sure how much more of this I can take. I love him, but I always seem to come last and I'm not going to put up with that for much longer!

Feeling fluey

2008-01-08T15:41:00.001Z

gah.... have only gone and caught yet another cold. I seem to be getting everything that's going around at the moment. It's soooo annoying.
Have an hour and a half of work to go and am really tired, think I need a holiday!
Anyway am going to have to start my new years healthy eating and getting in shape next week instead as I have just scoffed a pack of crisps and am about to have a twix. Can't diet whilst I'm feeling ill.
Oh well, hopefully I will be seeing the man tonight so he can take care of me a bit :)

Things I have been looking at so far this week are...

Green Tea Ice Cream
an interesting blog

Unsubscribe me
I am considering attending their demo against Guantanamo Bay on Friday... although I will probably be too lazy... more good intentions down the drain

and I am fashion for the fickle side of me.

2008 here I come...

2008-01-07T13:37:00.000Z

another year and so it goes on! Hopefully this year I might actually be able to make a start on sorting my life out though. I'm starting quite well, with a job that's ok and even a boyfriend (bad man and me got serious).

Hopefully 2008 might be my year.... you never know. Happy New Year to you all!

It's been a long time

2007-10-30T12:11:00.000Z

but I finally have a job that doesn't seem too bad!! I'm still a PA, but my boss is actually a competent, intelligent person. She can work a computer and everything, which is a lot more than I can say for the last lot! Also I'm in a great location, on Upper Street in Islington and working with a wide variety of nice people, who are also actually interesting. Pay isn't great but my stress levels have plummeted.... and I have Fridays off... what more could you want? Well, maybe a gorgeous rich man, but I'm working on that one.
Met a nice, if a bit shy, Phd student, doing philosophy of all things. Unfortunately he is miles away at Oxford (v, intelligent though) but I'm going to visit, so could be a bit of a nice fling.... or more. Bad man is still around, but we don't seem to be making much, if any, progress and to tell the truth I'm getting a bit bored with it. Sex and drugs and empty promises.... hmmmmm

What a week!!

2007-09-25T15:50:00.000+01:00

Have been working hard and playing hard. Am going to put in my notice tomorrow. Then I'm going to celebrate by going for a few drinks and some lovely Turkish food at Gallipoli in Islington, yummy. Am keeping busy too, have Egyptian dance on Thursday then a pottery course starting on Monday.... and hopefully a new job! Yay!!

It's so annoying

2007-09-19T01:45:00.000+01:00

I'm still waiting to hear from the new job, officially. Although they've called me and told me I've got it, I want something in writing before I put in my notice. Then all hell will break loose!!

New Job...

2007-09-14T13:01:00.001+01:00

Yay, I've been offered a new job, so it's onwards and upwards again. Hopefully I will finally get to work with some vaguely sane people!! Very exciting and it will be in Islington so nice and easy to get too. So excited...

Work is actually not too bad today

2007-09-07T11:15:00.000+01:00

all the bosses are out of the office so it's nice and quiet. Also it's Friday which is always good! Planning a nice chilled out weekend with wine and a barbecue if the weather holds out. Am also spending my day looking for and applying for new jobs online and playing on facebook. Maybe at some point I might actually do some work.
Anyway, me and bad man seem to be back on but he's boring me a bit of late. Maybe it's time for some new blood, I almost want an actual proper relationship. I must be getting all grown up.... or maybe not ;)

This...

2007-09-05T14:11:00.000+01:00

is a good indication of how I am feeling at the moment. It is now the background on my monitor at work! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I need a new job... again!

Just got back

2007-08-02T00:59:00.000+01:00

from a fabulous holiday in Venice. What an amazing city!! Shopped, ate and drank far too much! It's so rubbish being back at work again. I need a weekend already... especially as I have plans with my gorgeous favourite fuck buddy. It should be a good one!

Breaking news...

2007-07-04T02:01:00.000+01:00

apparently Alan Johnston the BBC's Gaza correspondant has finally been released, unharmed according to Reuters. I hope it's true and that he's safe and well.
Who'd have thought a few years ago that being in the hand of Hamas would be considered freedom. How things change. Keeping my fingers crossed that he's ok!

Busy, busy, busy

2007-06-25T02:01:00.000+01:00

no time for anything at the moment. We are moving offices and there's so much work... thank god it will be over soon and my boss will be going on holiday as well. Playtime! All work and no play has made me a dull girl! Am poor too which doesn't help. Oh well payday on friday.

One thing is free though. Had great sex with the bad man last night. He cooked me dinner and then we fucked all night mmmmmm heaven!

Its been a long time

2007-06-16T17:47:00.000+01:00

since I last posted. The last two weeks have been taken up with far too much work interspersed with various crazy birthday celebrations. Some of the highlights have been; a turkish bath, Indian and Italian restaurants, Champagne with the girlies, more champagne and some wierd shots with gold in them and a rollerdisco....
I need a break. Going to a friend's to have dinner cooked for me and be looked after tonight. A nice meal, a glass of wine and a good girlie gossip, just what I need!

Derby Day

2007-05-31T22:32:00.001+01:00

this weekend. Am going to Epsom with friends including my lovely, gorgeous sometime girlfriend. Haven't seen her since chritsmas. Can't wait, she's soooo lovely. Who needs men?

Insomnia...

2007-05-29T04:04:00.000+01:00

why oh why am I such an insomniac. I need to be up in 3 hours and yet I just can't sleep.
Oh well at least I got some rest over the long weekend. I want another day off. Civil servants get the Queen's official birthday today off work... I think they should make it a national holiday so that we can all have that elusive 4 day weekend. I know I need one...

What a washout

2007-05-29T03:59:00.000+01:00

this weekend has been!!! It's more like April than nearly June. Pouring rain and lack of money hasn't led to the most exciting bank holiday. Have mostly been resting at home, getting takeaway and watching crappy DVDs. Rain rather kills my partying spirit. Hope it gets better for my birthday. I'm determined to go out and party then.

Haven't even seen any action man wise as bad man was too busy (we didn't break up in the end... he couldn't stay away!) and I wouldn't brave the rain and neither would anyone else. A washout all round!

Looking forward

2007-05-25T00:30:00.001+01:00

to the bank holiday weekend. Even if the weather is going to be crap, I could do with the rest.
At the moment I'm thinking what to do for my birthday. I was hoping to go away for a few days but bloody work won't give me the time off. Hopefully I will get the actual day of my birthday off though and will have a nice relaxing pampering one.
I'm thinking for an evening out of going to the Rollerdisco! It sounds really fun. Some of my mates aren't up for it though so I may end up having several birthday events... or even a whole week of celebrations. Oh well, if the queen can have more than one birthday, why shouldn't I?

Things I am pondering today...

2007-05-17T20:20:00.001+01:00

Is it just pure evil to secretly hope that your wanker ex boyfriend fails his phd upgrade?? Hmmmm

Ill :(

2007-05-17T14:19:00.000+01:00

Still miserable and for some reason am now feeling bloated and sick and have stomach cramps, so have stayed off work today. Oh well at least I've had a proper sleep now. I will probably be back to post all the boring crap I've been doing to pass the time. I'm such a bad patient, I hate being ill with a vengance! Hope I'm better for my mate's birthday drinks on Saturday... I have the feeling that it will be a good night.

What a crappy day

2007-05-16T23:07:00.000+01:00

think me and the bad man have broken up. We had a masive row because I was late to meet him (got stuck in the bloody tube), I didn't help matters because I was tired and drenched by the pissing rain. Anyway we ended up not meeting up and he's not speaking to me now. So I guess that's it. I was thinking about if we had a future and I suppose the answer is now no, although it was a terrible way to end things. Feel pretty crappy. Also am tired, wet and hungry and now not gonna get laid tonight..... everything is miserable. I need a hug!!!